I can't help but feeling that there's some sort of black cloud over my school... Over the past few years there have been a large number of incidents involving the health of staff members or of family members of the staff. I suppose when you have any large number of people working together, things are bound to happen, but it just seems to me that we've had an extraordinary amount of things happening... There's been cancer, thyroid problems, female problems (with surgeries and some with complications), a miscarriage, vehicle accidents, strokes, and an assortment of other ailments. There have even been deaths, the most recent being a close friend's father on Thursday morning. I know there must be a reason for all of this. God wouldn't give any of us more than we can handle, but what is it that it seems like something is always happening/going wrong? We have a very strong staff and an amazing administration - we're very close and it is definitely like working with family. Is that why we're being tested with all of this? I know we're not necessarily meant to know why things happen, but that doesn't make it any easier. We've had a lot of good times, too - weddings, births, celebrations of numbers of years on staff... but with the one staff member's father's passing on Thursday, it is fresh in our minds just how much has been happening to the staff. It's difficult for me to imagine what it's like to lose a family member, but my heart goes out to my friend.
We had a staff meeting first thing Thursday morning. I had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was afraid of the bad news we were going to receive. I had no real reason to think it was bad, except the feeling I had. We get to the meeting and find out it's because one of our staff members was being recognized at the board that evening for 25 years of teaching in county. So I felt relieved, though still uneasy. An hour and a half later I found out about my friend's father. I was devastated for her. I still am. I plan to attend the services if I can get the time off. I am hoping she is comforted by the memories she has of her father - that's all we can hope for when anyone loses a loved one. I know in time she and her family members will begin to heal and move on in their lives.
I find myself praying for us to catch a break at my school. I just don't know what God has in store for us, and that's very difficult. As a friend said to me in an e-mail - "I'm tired of God thinking I can handle all of this." I hope God continues to give every one of us the strength to handle anything that is dealt to us in life (I have faith that he will, but that doesn't make this any easier for anyone on staff going through something).
Thought of the day: "Everything happens for a reason... Just believe."